angel lullabies.

Somehow it seems like every time I post on this blog it's an outpouring of the rawest type of emotion. Or at least one of the tail ends of these particular situations. Before I go on, there's a song I have to share.



For those of you who go to my church and/or have been a part of Kyrios for a couple years, you can probably guess what this entry is about. I don't have the latest information, but if everything had gone according to plan, a baby angel was born yesterday.

I have never lost a child before, and by God's grace may I never have to. Maybe it's just because I'm a girl, but the sheer amount of grief I am feeling right now is incredible. What's even more incredible than the amount of love this baby boy has received from his amazing parents and brother and church community is the fact that God loves him even more. When I was just thinking about how much his parents love him and all the things they might have wanted to one day share with him, I was suddenly struck with this warmth and God showed me very clearly this simple truth: "I love him infinitely more." The song I've shared above is essentially a grieving mother's heartcry; it highlights her tremendous desire to hold and nurture her child, and also her humbling faith in God's goodness. There is so much she wanted to do with this child. But then God's voice rings out clearly:

"I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?"

Truly, who could love us like this? Who could love this baby boy like this? Who ELSE, but the Lord God, our Father and Saviour and Comforter?

We've been going through the book of Jonah as a church for the past 2 months or so, and it's been such a blessing in my life. It's tied in so elegantly into so many parts of my life. One thing I've carried with me since the last sermon on Sunday is a simple but monumental truth, one that should realign the perspective of every Christian:

"for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster." Jonah 4:2b

Tonight, my prayer isn't for answers as to why a godly family had to go through something like this. It is simply for God Himself to carve into my heart this simple truth, and may I never forget it.