like a handprint on my heart.

I think over these past couple of days, I've reached a good place. With respect to academia, I'm just going to take it easy, acknowledge that I am called to be a student at this point in my life, do my best by putting God first, and let Him take care of the rest. Sounds easy, but my entire life has been a struggle to even start with one foot forward in this. With respect to The Boy (as he shall henceforth be addressed), I was really struggling with insecurity issues and silly things a while back but I think I've reached a point where I am not denying this, but at the same time I'm not agonizing over it. I think I've actually let go and placed my feelings at the feet of Christ and am going to let Him lead me through this. It's like God is giving me a second chance to do things right this time around and I've finally gotten it through my thick head that things will make sense when God is in control.

I just. I don't know. Had a really amazing time at frosh dinner tonight (as in, us 2nd years hosting the frosh and cooking for them lol) and was just really encouraged by how much our year has grown and bonded. This time last year I was despairing and asking God what He wanted me to do in CCF, because I just felt like everyone in my year was at a spiritual point that I wasn't at. But slowly and surely He has changed us all - me and my attitude the most, probably - and I've been finding myself so blessed and encouraged by the genuine worship that me and my year have really been experiencing. Like tonight, for example. I'm just so filled with joy at the moment! After most of the frosh had left we just ended up playing some guitar and jamming to some worship tunes, and we brought it all back to Scripture and we were led in a time of sharing and corporate prayer. It was completely spontaneous and led by the Holy Spirit. God really does work in His own time, whether it be in friendships or relationships and whatever. I'm just so excited by what God has in store for our year!

"You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets on human hearts. Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant - not of the letter for of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." (2 Corinthians 3:2-6)