Monday, September 19, 2011
hebrews 10: 23-25
"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
Monday, September 12, 2011
and lean not on your own understanding
The past month has been one of extreme spiritual turbulence for me. I've struggled with feelings of inadequacy, feelings of doubt, as well as a lack of joy in reading the Scriptures. Looking at it now, I think it might have been a series of spiritual attacks...before I was really discouraged and attributed it my own shortcomings or maybe I was "doing something wrong" with respect to devos/prayer life or whatever, but I don't really know. God has shown me so clearly that my so-called "knowledge" is worthless at His feet, and all I am is just a sinner clinging to the cross. But yeah, recently I've finished reading 1/2/3 John, and there's been some stuff God has placed on my heart that I wrote down while I was in Florida:
1. Religious "tolerance" I saw a church and a temple side by side in Buffalo and my first thought was: "Wow, it's good to see them co-existing." And then the Holy Spirit reacted right away: "Good? How is that good?? My chosen people are still lost!" What a powerful reminder that God called us not to co-exist with people, but to spread His Word (Matt 28:18-20).
2. "Break my heart for what breaks Yours." In Buffalo my mom and brother had an intense fight over something really small. That night as I lay in bed, I could hear my brother's sniffles across the room and see my mom's tears. It broke my heart so see so much strife in the family. How much more it must break God's heart as a parent when we push Him away and continue to sin and do things our way! In Acts 2 when Peter addresses the crowd at Pentecost and tells them of their sin and guilt in putting to death the Son of God, the people were "cut to the heart" (Acts 2:37). By the grace of God, our sin and inequities are washed away through the blood the Christ alone - "The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!" (Mark 1:15).
The one big "take-home" message I got from 1 John is this: DO NOT LOVE THE WORLD. I think for me, this is my biggest temptation, because I have a heart that yearns to see people happy and prosperous and a world at "peace". But Jesus Himself said: "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world yet forfeit his soul?" (Mark 8:36). And John, in 1 John, reminds us: "The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever." (1 John 2:17). It both IS and ISN'T a matter of materialism for me, because it's not like I'm into brand names and external validation through objects and things, but if I were to be perfectly honest with myself, 90% of my motivation to do well in school is because of my deeply rooted desire to be able to create a future for myself and my family in which we can be comfortable and not have to worry financially. And as I'm stressing about bills and electricity usage and buying textbooks and groceries, the Holy Spirit gently prods me: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6). I just all of a sudden started meditating on that verse as I was walking back from the bookstore this morning, and it's just strange because this was a verse I had memorized when I was very VERY small and hadn't really thought about all that often since then.
Last Friday we didn't have CCF, but some of us ex-froshies (CRYING FOREVER I AM NOT OLD) planned a worship and sharing night near City Park, and I was just so encouraged by that. Our year has gotten closer and I'm so glad that we can share such intimate and vulnerable parts of our struggles and joys. However, at that time I was really struggling with a lack of joy in my relationship with God and was feeling really detached and almost ready to give up. And then yesterday night I went to Bethel's (my church in Kingston) Praise and Power, and night of worship and bonding with students in the area, and was really blown away by the presence of God. It's making me question whether it's the MUSIC that I like, or is it really that I had an encounter with God. Because I truly believe God was in the building last night and all I could really do in the face of my doubt was to pray fervently that my focus would be continually be realigned to Him.
I'm starting on the book of Hebrews now! I'm excited to see what God has in store for me through this book and through this year at school :)
1. Religious "tolerance" I saw a church and a temple side by side in Buffalo and my first thought was: "Wow, it's good to see them co-existing." And then the Holy Spirit reacted right away: "Good? How is that good?? My chosen people are still lost!" What a powerful reminder that God called us not to co-exist with people, but to spread His Word (Matt 28:18-20).
2. "Break my heart for what breaks Yours." In Buffalo my mom and brother had an intense fight over something really small. That night as I lay in bed, I could hear my brother's sniffles across the room and see my mom's tears. It broke my heart so see so much strife in the family. How much more it must break God's heart as a parent when we push Him away and continue to sin and do things our way! In Acts 2 when Peter addresses the crowd at Pentecost and tells them of their sin and guilt in putting to death the Son of God, the people were "cut to the heart" (Acts 2:37). By the grace of God, our sin and inequities are washed away through the blood the Christ alone - "The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!" (Mark 1:15).
The one big "take-home" message I got from 1 John is this: DO NOT LOVE THE WORLD. I think for me, this is my biggest temptation, because I have a heart that yearns to see people happy and prosperous and a world at "peace". But Jesus Himself said: "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world yet forfeit his soul?" (Mark 8:36). And John, in 1 John, reminds us: "The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever." (1 John 2:17). It both IS and ISN'T a matter of materialism for me, because it's not like I'm into brand names and external validation through objects and things, but if I were to be perfectly honest with myself, 90% of my motivation to do well in school is because of my deeply rooted desire to be able to create a future for myself and my family in which we can be comfortable and not have to worry financially. And as I'm stressing about bills and electricity usage and buying textbooks and groceries, the Holy Spirit gently prods me: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6). I just all of a sudden started meditating on that verse as I was walking back from the bookstore this morning, and it's just strange because this was a verse I had memorized when I was very VERY small and hadn't really thought about all that often since then.
Last Friday we didn't have CCF, but some of us ex-froshies (CRYING FOREVER I AM NOT OLD) planned a worship and sharing night near City Park, and I was just so encouraged by that. Our year has gotten closer and I'm so glad that we can share such intimate and vulnerable parts of our struggles and joys. However, at that time I was really struggling with a lack of joy in my relationship with God and was feeling really detached and almost ready to give up. And then yesterday night I went to Bethel's (my church in Kingston) Praise and Power, and night of worship and bonding with students in the area, and was really blown away by the presence of God. It's making me question whether it's the MUSIC that I like, or is it really that I had an encounter with God. Because I truly believe God was in the building last night and all I could really do in the face of my doubt was to pray fervently that my focus would be continually be realigned to Him.
I'm starting on the book of Hebrews now! I'm excited to see what God has in store for me through this book and through this year at school :)
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