I know it's been a while and it's in the thick of exam season right now (sigh), but I've been feeling the need to post this for a while. This post is primarily for my sisters in Christ, but I'm sure our brothers could learn a thing or two about how to guard the hearts of the girls they worship and serve with.
I don't think I'm alone in saying that it is so difficult for a young woman of God to learn how to find her full satisfaction in Christ. We are constantly surrounded by messages that we need to be beautiful, we need to be alluring, we need to provocative and assertive in order to get the man of our dreams. This whole movement of female empowerment seems to give a message that women don't need men for self-validation (and this message, at its core, is not incorrect), but the fact that this grew out of a desperate desire to free ourselves from a highly misogynistic and patriarchal/male-dominated society still reveals how our identities as women are still undeniably dependent on the men in our lives. And yes, that's just my opinion, but this opinion has been built on years of observing how the girls in and around my life (including myself!) trip over themselves trying to receive love and admiration from guys.
Why is this the case? I think that at the core of it, we must go back to the Fall of Man and the judgment of God - "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16) What was once good and perfect was defiled by sin, and we are still reaping the consequences of this. This situation would seem unbearably dire if not for the Gospel - that although our sin in the face of God's holiness should justly require punishment, God in His unfathomable love and grace provided His own Son Jesus Christ as a blameless and perfect sacrificial substitute to die on the cross and take on His righteous wrath for the sin of humanity, and that in Christ's subsequent resurrection and victory over death, we too can be free from the chains of sin and shame and have eternal life (that is, knowing God) if we repent of our sins and believe that Christ is our risen and victorious Saviour. Once saved, we are able to fight against our sinful human nature and the consequences of such a nature through the power and work of the Holy Spirit, who indwells us at the moment we repent and believe.
How, then, is this relevant to the matter at hand? The fact is, there is no man on earth who can truly satisfy the desires of a woman. I may look and look for years and try on relationships like a girl tries on shoes to try to find a perfect fit, to find my Prince Charming and happy ending the way that all the Disney princesses seem to be able to do, but I will fail, and be left emptier and sadder than before. You know I'm leading up to this, but there is only one answer to this dilemma: Find your satisfaction in Christ alone.
Now, this isn't anything new. It's the epitome of a Sunday School answer, but it is the truth. The question really is - how do I continually remind myself of this truth through the ups and downs of daily life, through my daily interactions with guys and as I navigate the various relationships in my life? Say it all together now - the Word of God! There is nothing like Scripture to remind us of the truth in God's promises, and God's promises are the things we should cling to. In my own life, I've noticed a bunch of things that I feel like girls desperately want from guys, but really should be getting from God. And that's NOT to say that these things are not things that a husband should strive to provide for his wife, but even a husband who is as closely to perfect as humanly possible will fall short compared to how God provides these things for us. God is, after all, perfect. And again, this list is not exhaustive, but in all honesty is just a reminder for myself that God is completely sufficient.
1. Recognition - Don't know if this is just me, but there is a part of me that desperately wants to be recognized for who I am. And you know what the amazing thing is? I am known by God. The God who is Master of the universe and who created the stars that take my breath away at night - He knows me. CRAZYYY.
John 10:2-4; 14-15 - "The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice...I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - and I lay down my life for the sheep."
1 Corinthians 8:3 - "But the[woman] who loves God is known by God."
2. Comfort - We all want a guy who we can run to and talk to when we're feeling down and lost. We want him to be understanding and to hold us and tell us things will be alright. And if your significant other does so - praise God! But whether or not he does or doesn't (or if he exists yet), God is the ultimate and perfect provider of comfort.
1 Peter 5:6-7 - "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may life you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
Psalm 25:16-18 - "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins."
3. Security - At least for me, this is something huge. It is scary for a girl to feel like she is without security or foothold, without assurance of things to come. And you know what - we can rest completely and absolutely in the truth of God's promises that He is with us wherever we go.
Psalm 16:8-10 - "I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure, because you will not abandon me to the grave"
Psalm 27:1 - "The LORD is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?"
Psalm 46:1-3 - "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging."
Joshua 1:9 - "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
4. Intimacy - Why do you think it's so easy for girls to give their heart away? Because we long for intimacy. To know someone deeply and be known in return on a deep and visceral level. And no one knows this better than God Himself.
Hosea 2:14-15 - "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt."
John 10:14-15 - "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - and I lay down my life for the sheep."
5. Love - I'll be completely honest here: this is a hypothesis on my part. And I say this because even now, I'm not quite sure what love is. Doesn't that sound kind of silly? But in all honesty, I really don't. I can't say I've been in love before. I definitely can't say that I understand what God's love is. But I feel like we girls grasp at every straw we possibly can in order to experience this thing called love - and it very clearly says in Scripture that God is the origin and source of love, and His love is pure and holy and perfect. Why look in puddles when we have access to the entire ocean?
Jeremiah 31:3 - "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
Romans 8:38-39 - "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, no any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our LORD."
Zephaniah 3:17 - "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with his singing."
Psalm 103:11 - "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him"
Let us always be reminded of the unimaginable satisfaction of the fullness of joy we find in Christ alone.
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